With a Female Voice

We come in many sizes:height, weight,
rear-end and chest too,
Is this the way that we are measured
by the mass of you?

I mean really - are we cars, horses, cattle, clothing
or other objects that are sized up, rated, valued on how good
our packages are presented? What happened to personality,
performance and feelings?

Whatever your view of me is, its false. The picture
you see is all in your mind. That which you think exists, doesn't. You really haven't a clue as to who I am.

Let me paint a picture for you on the canvas of

We are born into this world as female, human
beings that are similar to males - but have vast differences.
We are labeled the weaker sex and given secondary roles in
society/ or so they think.

As girls our lives are planned for us; how long our hair
should be, when our ears should be pierced and how many
holes should be put in each ear. Should they wear dresses,
skirts or slacks, and when should we be allowed to polish
our nails. Lipstick or no lipstick. Make-up or no make-up.
When to date and with whom, and anything else is forbidden. How many times have you heard your parents say "No daughter of mine will end up pregnant with no husband to support her." Believe me when I tell you, pregnancy is the
farthest thing from our minds!! Who needs a baby at 15?

When and where is it written in a young woman's life
that she officially becomes a woman? This is the one thing that society, parents, family and older women have the hardest time with. I don't want to take your spot, just let me move into my own.

I want to know now where my manual is - who stole
it and where are they hiding it? This female thing can be very
hard at times. Just knowing when to step into your roles can
be life consuming, not to mention aggravating, annoying and
confusing! Daughter, sister, mother, aunt, niece, cousin,
friend, girlfriend, fiancée, wife, ex-wife - it scares me even to think of it!

As if there weren't enough problems to go around, then
men don't and won't understand the very real female problems that we endure - daily or monthly, what does it matter? The monthly cycle, better known as the 'period,' greets us at young ages and haunts us to old age.

'Its a woman's thing,' or even 'its her or their time of
the month' is the constant excuse given to assertive behavior or mood swings. I know for a fact that every time I get moody, my cycle has nothing to do with it. Please do not burden me with this crutch for the rest of my life. I can walk just fine with my own two legs, thank you!

Women are different and deal with body changes
differently. While some can go through their monthly cycle with little or no pain or discomfort, others experience just the opposite. This is also linked to a change in the body brought on by menopause in later years. Body differences and physiology take a great part here also. But of course, men also take this opportunity to link and label this time as the 'female or women's problem' time. Instead of labeling and avoiding us, why don't you try to understand and help us?

What does the question of the stronger or weaker sex have to do with anything? Natural selection, you say, puts this stipulation on the sexes. Its survival of the fittest. Only the strong will survive. Well if this were true in the human species, most men would've died off ages ago. Through it all (poverty, slavery, captivity, wars, child-birth, marriages, etc.)

the women have survived, become stronger and still managed to skillfully keep the family unit together. I believe that dispels your natural selection theory.

Women can be their own worst enemies when it comes to dealing with each other. If the men are against us, or shy
away from us, then who can we turn to? Who can we confide in? Jealousy, animosity and strife will easily enter the picture here. What can be done now?

What makes it so hard for women to get along? Take a man and put him in any part of the world, then put him in contact with other men and he will be civil to them (he may even greet them with a hello). Take a woman in the same circumstance and she or the other women will probably greet each other with some type of negativity, or not greet each other at all. What type of nonsense is this? You and I may be different and come from different backgrounds and experiences, but there should be a common ground out there somewhere.

Is it the male that the other females cling to in fear of theft? Is it jealousy of popularity, youth, occupations, education, families or position or status in the community? Is it a racial thing, that women of different races can't really relate or understand one another? Or is it just that we don't like each other? This type of petty nonsense is one of the major things keeping us apart. If someone tries to take or

disrupt what you have, by all means stop them. But if there is nothing there between you and your female sisters, drop whatever you have against one another and embrace each other. Make amends and get back together.

Now our relationships with men are another story. We outnumber men 3 to 1, so of course there will be competition
for them. This is often used by men as a means to take advantage of the situation. How uncommon is it to hear about or see on talk shows a man with two or more women in a relationship, that are fighting over him. These men may have many relationships, and he proceeds to take full advantage of all his women. You and I don't want to look that stupid, but we often do.

The problem develops when the woman (who usually is ready to make a commitment to a relationship and marriage) reveals her feelings to the man, but the man in turn keeps his feelings hidden/to himself. As the relationship progresses, the woman has given and is willing to give, but the man takes and receives, giving a small portion or nothing at all. She is committed, but he is not. This relationship could end in a break up, a long-term relationship with no marriage, a marriage in which both parties drift further and further apart or a broken marriage, ending in divorce.

Understanding is a two way street. Men and women are both strong and competitive. If there isn't some sort of understanding and giving and taking, the relationships will never work.

So indeed, a woman's work is never done. With all these obstacles, how can women keep it together as well as stay together? I look at it this way; get your priorities straight, establish relationships with men but don't let them walk all over you or abuse you and mend the broken fences with other women. Establish your faith in God and grow in it. If you are for me, get close to me. If you are against me, stay back/get away. I'm not here to harm you, I'm here to help you. Let's embrace/hug and work together: woman to woman, female to female.

Here's a good reference manual on womanhood; find yourself a good female role model or mentor (that has been tested through the years) and pattern yourself and your life after hers. She brings with her good advice from the past and good experiences you need to hear. The examples she sets are what you need to help you deal with life and its struggles as you encounter them.

With a female voice we can be heard, understood, helped and loved,
With our voices combined we can change the world
And lift our prayers above.

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